The art of receiving
Updated: Feb 19, 2019
I have the most amazing partner. He is so caring, considerate and supportive and I could really not ask for anything more from him, but there is something really peculiar about him, which is that he finds it difficult to ‘receive’.
He finds it difficult to accept that I’ll pay for a meal, even though he will pay for mine. He finds it difficult to accept compliments. He gets uncomfortable that I’d offer to drive him and his drum kit to a gig AND take it home as well. I usually just raise my eyebrows at him and say, ‘What the hell are you on about? Just shut up and accept it.’
It’s part of his persona, his conditioning and upbringing. It’s seemingly an excusable thing, just a part of his super considerate nature.
What he doesn’t realise, though, is how crucial the ability to receive is in being abundant and a true creator.
YOU CAN’T GIVE FROM AN EMPTY VESSEL
You may have heard that you can’t love unless you love yourself first. What I’m saying is, you can’t love unless you can receive it.
It has been proven that children who grow up without love in families have difficulty being in relationships in their adult life, and those who come from loving families have more success at relationships.
The difference being, one person has been completed doted on and loved and hence conditioned to believe that they are lovable and that their needs can be met. They then unconsciously are able to receive love.
The person who comes from unloving households, they unconsciously believe that they aren’t lovable. When they enter relationships as adults, they constantly reject love or their partners, because it doesn’t fit in with their belief that they are unlovable, and that their needs won’t be met. These people end up often testing the relationship, by testing whether their partner loves them, seeking for the validation that they are loved, because unconsciously they don’t believe they are.
On first glance, it may seem that they need to be able to love themselves first. This is true, but, in a more general sense, they simply need to be able to receive it, either from self or others, it really doesn’t matter who.
Therefore, the first point I want to make is, you need to be able to receive to be able to have and to give.
SOME MORE EXAMPLES
As someone who is trying to start a business, I had difficulty receiving payments to begin with. I offered up my coaching services for free to get some practice and when a client of mine offered to start paying me, the first thing that happened was I choked up and felt uncomfortable about taking their money. The thing is, though, is that I am going to need to receive payment if I want to have a financially viable business. I had to start being OK with receiving money for my work.
Now, I’m not saying that that’s how you’ll respond when people offer to pay you. I’m simply demonstrating one way in which I had to be able to receive in order to start doing what I love.
This is common in women. We tend to undervalue ourselves way more than men. A friend who mentors women entrepreneurs describes a session she has with her clients which looks at how much they are valuing their product and services. The numbers don’t stack up. These women are selling their product at a fraction of what it’s worth. They aren’t valuing their product and services at how much it’s actually worth, they value it at how much they think their own self is worth. They aren't able to receive/ask for more than what they think they’re worth!
Another client of mine has trouble accepting help from others without finding the need to try and return the favour. As his business starts to flourish, he starts to feel guilty that he’s not doing more for others around him. What’s that all about? It’s his inability to accept that he should be able to receive something without having to give something in return. Does that mean that he should be a complete ass and always take without returning? Not at all, but he should at least know that he has that difficulty in receiving, because he could end up rejecting help when he actually needs it - and from his own admissions, this happens often!
Now think about this - how can you be asking for abundance and success from the universe, when you can’t even accept it when it's offered to you? You’re asking for the universe to give you love, money and success, and then you say no to it?!
Second point I am making is, if you want abundance in your life, allow it and receive it when it is given to you.
THE ENERGY PERSPECTIVE
The world is manifested in two different energies. The masculine energy and the feminine energy. The masculine energy can be described as an expulsion/giving energy, where as the feminine energy can be described as a receiving energy. Note that masculine energy does not equal that of a man’s. A man can possess or embody feminine energy and vice versa.
The masculine/feminine energy dynamic is quite telling when you look at the reproduction process, where a man ejaculates and sends semen outward into a woman, and a woman’s womb is the nurturing place where the fetus grows. It is also seen when a man and woman in a relationship fight, the man (or whoever is in the masculine role) generally wants to leave and expend his frustrations by leaving and letting his frustrations go, whereas the woman (or whoever is in the feminine role) generally wants to talk it about and needs attention.
The masculine energy is that of doing, the feminine energy is that of being/receiving.
So what's it got to do with being a creator?
In the Kybalion, a sacred text which distils the universal laws, describes this as the law of mental gender.
‘The Feminine principle is always in the direction of receiving impressions, and has a much more varied field of operation than the Masculine. The Feminine conducts the work of generating new thoughts, concepts and ideas, including the work of the imagination.
The Masculine principle is always in the direction of giving out or expressing, and contents itself with the "Will" in its varied phases.’
Therefore, being in the energy of the feminine, the receptive energy, is the birthplace of new thoughts, ideas, intuition and imagination.
And if you’re not energy-worldview-inclined, there’s been a multitude of study on how your most creative ideas come when your mind is at rest or relaxation, a mindframe that allows new ideas to flow.
It’s why you wake up from a night’s sleep with the solution to your problem.
It’s why you have the best ideas when you shower.
It’s why you come back from extended holidays being very clear on what you want to do in life.
It’s also why Thomas Edison would strategically nap and then wake up writing down everything that was on his mind.
And why when Michelangelo was reprimanded for sleeping on the job while painting the Sistine Chapel by the Pope, Michelangelo was recorded saying, ‘you tell the Pope that I am doing my work when I’m sleeping.’ Sleeping is where he conceived his ideas and the painting was simply the act of bringing it to life.
The cases of genius, creative ideas being conceived of in rest are endless. Those geniuses knew that rest, or being in a space to receive intuition and ideas, was when they’d have their best ideas, and they took it very seriously.
Therefore, the third point I'm making is, being able to receive by embodying the state of being and rest is where genius ideas are born.
The bottom line point of the post is learn to receive in every way.
When someone offers you something, say ‘Thank you, I’d love it.’
Learn to receive what your product is worth, not what you think your own self is worth.
Embody the feminine energy and be open to receiving intuition and ideas, and take those thoughts seriously (by acting on them).
Abundance and creation awaits you.