Living your life's purpose
Updated: Feb 11, 2019
MY SEARCH FOR PURPOSE
There’s a lot of talk about ‘finding your purpose and passion’ out there. In fact, there’s more motivational video, memes, books, seminars and the like floating around encouraging it than ever before (or is it Facebook algorithms completely nailing me). I spoke to a close friend about the idea of finding a job that you loved, and he likened it to our romanticised belief that you should be destined to find your one true love and soulmate who is your perfect other half. That finding a job that you love and are passionate about is just a glamorised idea that is sold to us, and that the reality just isn’t so.
I agree that finding your perfect soulmate is idealised, though, I have indeed finally found my purpose, and it is more fulfilling and rewarding than I could have imagined.
For a long time, I was waiting for my purpose to become clear for me, not knowing what it was, and claiming to those who asked that I have no passions in life. I believed that I wasn’t lucky enough to have a passion. All these musicians, artists, foodies and natural entrepreneurs seemed to me to have a genetic mutation of natural talent, gifted at birth, one that I was not so fortunate enough to have. But still, I was hopeful, and started a half-hearted commitment to discover and find my passion, packing my bags for India to pursue a humanitarian cause, looking for confirmation that living a life in service to those who need it most was my life calling.
Just three weeks teaching at a charitable school though was enough experience for me to know that although I am compassionate at heart, teaching was not as rewarding as I thought it’d be. Instead, I found it tiring. Much preferring to play with the children rather than disciplining and manipulation to maintain their attention. I moved to the UK, without the confirmation and direction I was looking for.
My search continued and I spent the next few months filling the void by volunteering, I guess hoping that at some point, it would feel right and perfect, but in hindsight, I was basically just filling the time.
In my search though, I found a link to a free one day talk in London, and this would be the turning point for me. Fast forward to doing the entire Natural Success curriculum run by William Whitecloud and I can confidently say that I have found my purpose, and it is more wonderful than I could have ever imagined.
At William’s Natural Success trainings, I came to realise a few of my ambitions, through a simple technique of quietening one’s mind and letting your heart and intuition do the rest. Sounds corny, maybe, but it was effective. More on this super powerful technique another time.
Since then I have accomplished multiple things. I am very deep into the writing of a book (it’s a fictionional tale about fairies). I have started a training business which I am working on growing. I have started a coaching business, where I coach individuals and business owners to create the biggest positive impact they can in the world.
I am still in my early days in all of the above, but the achievement is beyond anything I could have believed possible just two short years ago. Especially because I am/was the world’s biggest procrastinator, the fact that I’ve been able to accomplish the above - I never thought it were possible before the trainings with William.
And in my short experience so far, in living with purpose, here’s what I’ve come to know about it..
MY REFLECTIONS ON LIVING WITH PURPOSE
1. IT’S NOT ALL CHAMPAGNE AND ROSES
For the longest time, I believed that living with passion and purpose meant that I was going to enjoy every single moment of what I did. If I felt any sign of bad feelings and emotions…I was outta there! You’re supposed to LOVE what you do right?’ If I loved it, I wouldn’t need to drag myself to do it. Passion was supposed to be loving every aspect about it, right? Wrong.
What I learnt at William’s course was actually that when you know what it is that you want to achieve, the first thing you’ll feel is RESISTANCE. That is just how our minds work. There is a discrepancy between what we want and what we believe we can have/do, and that discrepancy creates TENSION in us. Most people feel the tension, and then resolve it by making that feeling of tension go away. For me, that meant dropping whatever it was that I started, but to be able to create it, you have to be able to MOVE THROUGH your resistance, whatever that might be for you.
For example, I would love to empower people to live their highest potential and purpose through trainings and coaching, but I have lived my entire life being the world’s biggest procrastinator. To be able to create what I’d love, i.e. a coaching and training business, I have to be able to still create the trainings despite feeling like I don’t want to do it. I must overcome that tendency that in the past would stop me from taking the actions.
This step requires knowing what holds you back, the habits and beliefs that keep you from doing what you love.
IMPORTANT! I do not need to fix my procrastination problem. If I spent energy and time to fix the procrastination, I am still not creating that which I would love. Instead I just choose to apply myself to create what I love.
2. IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE A BIG SHOW
Another thing which has been evident with being purposeful is it doesn’t need to be HUGE and IMPACTFUL, WORLD-CHANGING or make you a MILLIONAIRE. If you haven’t been able to identify your biggest life ambition yet, just choose something. Anything. One thing you’ve always wanted to do. And don’t worry if it’s not going to be your life work. There’s such power and lessons, not to mention the messages you send your subconscious mind in choosing one thing and sticking it out ‘til the end.
I identified that I wanted to write a book, and I am in the middle of writing it now. Will it be the new Harry Potter? Definitely not. But putting aside the time to do it, and actually being able to produce something has been far more rewarding than the alternative (scrolling mindlessly through Facebook), and this sends messages to my sub-conscious mind that I am capable, ‘I can do this’ - reversing three decades of behavior and belief that I am lazy and can’t apply myself productively. I don’t know what is going to become of the book, but the book is evolving, the storyline is becoming more clear, the desire to go back and work in other details is natural. It’s been such a rewarding experience, but not easy, I admit.
3. TREAT IT LIKE YOU TREAT YOUR JOB
This really is the most important point - treat it like a job. Most people treat bringing their passion into a reality as a hobby. Odd moment here and there, if you can fit it in with your social schedule. No wonder nothing ever takes off. If you would LOVE to create it, put all your energy into it. MAKE SURE THAT YOU CREATE IT. Why do we give so much energy to our jobs and not to our greatest joys and passions? Imagine that you put as much energy into bringing that thing we love into reality as we did our jobs. Spend all your time bringing it to life. Make it your god damn business in life. Start fuelling and putting time into your desires and passions and watch them grow and flourish (and then watch your whole sense of self change as well).
4. DON’T STOP UNTIL IT’S DONE, AND MAKE IT BIG
I know, it’s kinda contradictory to what I said above in point two, but truth is, you gotta make it a big goal. Make it WAY bigger than you believe you can achieve. Make sure it’s so big that you would never believe you are able to achieve it. Let me show you how it works in action…
I have a goal to create an international coaching and training business. I’m teaching on the world stage, teaching my own discipline and my clients are killing it! As am I!
Where am I now, running small workshops with average of 5 attendees. Am I on the big stage yet? Not even close, so I better keep working at growing my business. And that’s what the big goal does, it keeps you stretching yourself, and not becoming content with a lesser and played down version of what you actually want to achieve.
5. DO IT CAUSE YOU LOVE IT, NOT CAUSE YOU DON’T WANT TO FEEL
LESS SHITTY ABOUT YOURSELF
This is an interesting one that I explore in depth in my next blog post. The short of it is this though - I can almost guarantee you that if you are trying to do something to feel less shitty about yourself, it is going to fail. That’s because you are coming from a place of lack. The feelings of despair and desperation causes you to take an action, and when that feeling slightly diminishes due to the reactive action you take, you feel better about yourself and then feel less need to take action and slide back into your old habits. Does this feel familiar?
The trick is to do something simply for the love of bringing it to existence and this is where true creation lies. Not fixing a problem, but creating. When you get out of the realm of fixing and enter the realm of creating, this is where you get a sense of power in self.
Explanation of this point is articulated very clearly in The Path of Least Resistance by Robert Fritz.
6. THE FIRST STEP IS THE HARDEST
When you are going from nothing to something, that is the biggest step you have to take. But once you’ve made your first steps, with that as the foundation, each step after that is building on your experience, and after that it just becomes a building of momentum.
For example, when I delivered my first workshop, without having ever done anything like it, I had to really work hard to put the content together, and to make the first steps to advertise it. I was nervous and quite amateur, but since then, I’ve run a dozen workshops, I am much more confident in the delivery and message, and no longer sweat it about whether I can do it. The first workshop was TERRIFYING. Now it’s fun!
Just drag yourself to do the first step and then the next, and then the next, and at some point, you stop dragging yourself, because it’s just your natural way of being.
And there you have it, guys. I’m conscious of not getting on a high horse here as I am far from being truly successful in reaching my potential in my passions, but these are my humble reflections to date having been lifted to a place of feeling purposeful, that I am ever so grateful for.